Some experiences one has to live to fully understand. You might think that reading, listening, or even seeing someone live through it is enough, but no, some parts one has to live on their own. Coming from a humble background and making your own money is one such experience. The idea for this article came to me as I stumbled upon this beautiful post in my feed:
Reading those little stories brought a smile to my face. For nothing in the world hits the way, reading a shared experience does, especially when it’s not much talked about. It’s truly thought-provoking how our definition of success and achievements is shaped by what’s more braggable in society: tangible materialistic possessions over invisible, intangible personal accomplishments. Maybe it is symbolism. Like buying a car that can be put on display outside your home vs. investing the same amount of money in mutual funds, protecting you and your family’s future. While both have their place, the former is more visible, flauntable on social media; the latter is boring. garnering not even a quiet, prideful acknowledgment sometimes.
Often, we get so busy and occupied with our lives that we forget to notice the little things we’ve done right; we forget to appreciate and take pride in our simple and powerful choices. Like sticking to that small healthy habit you picked up on your own in college that you’ve managed to follow all these years. Or the joy of being the sole witness to the times when you made a promise to yourself and, despite the struggles, fulfilled it. How we grow up and learn to look after not just ourselves but also take care of others, be it friends or family. The sense of self-respect and meaning that comes out of taking responsibilities. From something as simple as completing a bank tank or an online bill payment for which your parents would have to make offline visits to just providing a listening ear to a friend who is going through a rough patch, providing them the warm comfort of ‘Yes, I’m here, with you. We’ll figure it out.” It may seem trivial to you, but it could be enormous for them. You can never fully assess the impact of your being, the light in the world that you emit.
When someone’s life is looked at from the outside, its internalities might not be very visible. And people can be cruel in unexpected, unintentional ways. It’s easy to pass judgement on a person for their behaviour or their choices. It’s hard to see why, how, from where they’ve started. More than others, we are harsher to ourselves. When we set up our expectations and compare our stories with others, we seldom focus on the starting lines, the unique set of talents and setbacks we had on our plate. When you sit to assess, do not overlook the role of luck and destiny too: the environment you grew up in, the people that came your way, the situations you were surrounded with, and the choices you had to make. They have a far greater impact on where you are than you’d likely think.
Don’t get so caught up with how far you have to go that you forget to see how far you’ve come from. When you feel inadequate, remember to cut yourself some slack, the way you would do to a good friend. Part of taking care of yourself includes being practical, fair, and kind to yourself. Let there be some days of celebration, quiet as they may, of the little things you’ve done right, achievements that aren’t grand for the world but mean the world to you. Take pride, for you might not be where you’d like to be, but you are also not where you would have otherwise been. While you might not have many grand, loud, and ostentatious biggies, you have your little milestones, your personal small achievements. Celebrate them, celebrate the little things—your quiet victories!
Mukhtalif 